The kit in question takes several forms, in order of priority (as I see it):
The Footcare Kit
The Snack Pack
The Health and Safety Heap
The GEAR
And finally
The Travel and Logistics pile (bottom of the list only because HRH* takes care of most of this)
On previous walking holidays foot care was simply a matter of chucking a few blister plasters and a decent barrier cream in the backpack. This year however has been more of a chore, and where the 'kerfuffle' came in. What you don't want, just after having booked a week off work and handed over the balance for accommodation and bag transfer to do a 97 mile National Trail, is for an Achilles injury to threaten the whole shebang. For the past several weeks I've been assessed, scanned, massaged, lasered and measured-up, resulting in the most indulged feet in Christendom. If I could insure them I would. Apparently as previously out of kilter as Quasimodo, I'm now the proud (?) owner of 2 sets of custom-made orthotics and have shelled out on physio and new boots to ensure safe passage of my now-rather-unfit legs and torso along Peddar's Way and the North Norfolk Coastal Path starting on Saturday. I may need you to wish me luck.
Naturally an adventure of these epic proportions requires fuel. I got round to picking up the guide book earlier this week but soon realised that the only bit I was entirely focused on was the dining arrangements! As such I'm looking forward to hearty, locally sourced breakfasts, pub suppers, especially the seafood along the coastal sections, or meals based on Norfolk Dapple or Wighton cheeses, with famously traditional treacle custard tart for dessert, but noticeable by its absence was the lack of mention of lunch. Hence the Snack Packing. Impressive or obsessive, what do you reckon? No fear of this little piggy going hungry.
Next pile. Have you ever noticed how the Health and Safety Heap gets bigger the older you get? Once upon a time I'd head out with a pack of paracetamol and some sun cream. Now it's gel to rub on this and spray to freeze the other, salts to soak away the aches and pains that resist the gel and spray, allergy pills for the heat rash, bottles to defend the immune system from imminent germ attack, potions for bites and lotions for bumps, to say nothing of the stuff for the indigestion caused by all that snacking. It's a good job most of this will be tucked away in the suitcase for someone else to cart around or I'd be needing a truss for a hernia too!
And as for the GEAR! Flattering sun dresses, the odd skimpy bikini, a hat as flippy-floppy as the proverbial scarecrow once wore, sparkly sandals, a colourful beach bag .... all things of the past. Now it's trousers that zip off into shorts in delightful shades of khaki, grey or black, practical blouses carefully vetted to be sure that nothing will rub, a baseball cap (a baseball cap! I ask you!), a collapsible walking stick, giant brown boots and a day pack with more zips, pockets and toggles than I will ever know what to do with and a sweat limiting mesh (oh joy) whose only concession to femininity is that it's pink! Nice.
All that said, I'm still looking forward to this trip immensely. Tonight I plan to read through the thus-far-secret pile of paperwork that has been gathering in the corner of the office. I suspect our mission will have been planned to the n'th degree and will be executed like a military operation because our Planning Officer Himself is brilliant and it's precisely because of that that I will simply be able to put one foot in front of the other all week and soak up the fresh air and views.
So if you wish to follow our journey, check back here from time to time and I'll do my best to be entertaining.
*Happily Retired Husband
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