Grand Designs

Another 10 miles under our belt today. The heat made for a slightly sleepy slog but there was still no denying that the countryside up here in't North is breathtaking. We crossed over at some point from Northumberland into Cumbria, and had lunch overlooking a spectacular valley with the Pennines ahead in the distance and the Cumbrian hills visible way off through the heat-haze to the South-West. Makes you feel good to be alive. 

Hadrian's grand design has definitely petered out gradually as the day has gone on and since early afternoon has barely made an appearance. Birdoswald fort was quite a hit but, if I'm honest, it was mostly because we were able to get a cup of tea, visit the 'facilities' and to watch the swallow-cam rather than study another 2-foot high outline of Roman living quarters similar to many others we've now seen. If that sounds dismissive of the ancient historical sites I apologise but it really was too hot today to be anything other than intent on getting to the end of the stage. Instead we amused ourselves intermittently with our own grand design: the perfect hikers' B&B. 

Having stayed in quite a few now over the years we feel reasonably qualified to say what works and what can sometimes definitely be lacking. First the essentials (HRH's list might be in a different order of priority but nevertheless we are largely in agreement):

Bathroom  ideally with bath and shower (bath with shower satisfactory) and Radox - for soaking, if so inclined, and decent water pressure. That shower at the end of the day before dinner and again to refresh stiff muscles in the morning is priceless.

No silly small bottles of shampoo etc. thank you. Give us a large bottle - we won't nick it, we just can't bear to see all those half-empty mini bottles going to landfill and they're no use to us at home. Big towels. Enough said. 

Bedroom big enough to open, leave open and still walk around two full sized suitcases please without stubbing toes or having to bend down to rummage through. Oh, and don't forget we have a back-pack each too. We'd like somewhere to put them as well if you don't mind. 

Less important but still desirable would be somewhere in the downstairs lobby to leave our boots. Given that we're usually quite ready to kick them off as soon as we arrive and how we're sure you'd rather not have us tramp through your establishment in muddy footwear please could you provide a rack and somewhere to sit in the hallway the following morning to put them back on? 

Fresh milk - not those horrid UHT offerings. I'll even come and get it from your kitchen in a little jug if you like, and semi-skimmed will do. We're not that fussy.

Tea, coffee (including decaf, definitely) and a kettle that fits under the bloomin' tap! Biscuits (in date) would be nice but are not a deal-breaker. 

Nice comfy bed with appropriate weight duvet please. It's the summer! We don't need 13 togs thanks. Lamp either side because one of us reads (or writes) late and the other doesn't. And a few more plug sockets would be good please, for the chargers. 

Wifi and password written down somewhere, without having to ask.  

Oh, and for breakfast - fresh fruit, fresh eggs (from the chickens we'd keep naturally), fresh bread baked on a timer so THAT would be the first thing you smell in the morning, not the fry-up, home-made jam, granola and Radio 2 playing quietly in the background. And bacon sandwiches, as standard! 

What we don't need: bedside radio alarmclocks! (who uses them anyway these days?), decorative fur throws OR millions of brochures for places local to visit.

So there you have it. If WE were going to run a hikers B&B you know what you can expect. Well it kept us sane when the thermometer rose way above the norm.

But it was only a design. Never reality. Couldn't stand all those picky customers ;-) 

A demain x